Girl Talk
by The Child of Time
Summary: Everyone needs a little girl talk when life throws you a curveball, and Brennan and Angela are no exception. A series of oneshots following key events in the series. Brennan/Angela FRIENDSHIP with B/B goodness thrown in.
1. Pilot

**A/N: **My muse decided to offer me an idea: A set of oneshots, each being a girl talk between Angela and Brennan that happens after a major event throughout the series. There'll also be hints of B/B, because I'm a crazy shipper. I'm not sure how long the muse will like this idea and help me, but I'll keep my fingers crossed.

**Disclaimer: **Zoom in on my empty wallet. (Naked Rogers to everyone who gets the reference)

Oh, and thank you to **Louise** who listened to my whining and came up with a not boring summary for me.

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**Pilot (1x01)**

"So," Angela said from the doorway of Brennan's office, "Tell me about Agent Hot Stuff."

Brennan instinctively rolled her eyes. "Agent Booth," she corrected as she turned her attention back to the papers on her desk, "will be asking for our assistance with more cases now."

Angela walked into the room and sat down on the couch. "Good. I like him. A nice, sexy man to help distract me from the gross bodies."

"I'm sure he'd be glad to hear that. He has a huge ego." Brennan muttered without looking up.

Angela grinned. "Well, I would too if I looked like _that_." She began fanning herself with the sketch in her hand, and Brennan gave her a confused look.

"You're a very attractive woman, Angela."

"Aw. Thank you, sweetie. It's so adorable when you try to be all normal and flatter people."

"I was merely stating a fact." Brennan insisted.

"Right." Angela nodded. Her eyes sparkled mischievously. "Agent Stud Muffin is no longer being shunned by the great Temperance Brennan?"

"You seem to be having a hard time remembering that his name is Booth. And I wasn't shunning him."

"Bren. You told Zack not to let his calls go through. That's shunning."

"Oh." Brennan shrugged. "I find him very infuriating and didn't want to talk to him. I wasn't aware that he would take such drastic measures to reach me."

"Yeah. _That_ was hot."

"How was having me held for questioning 'hot'?" Brennan asked in disgust.

Angela smirked. "Actually, you know what? You're right. He needs to be punished."

Brennan sighed, giving up the idea of getting any work done while Angela was obviously in the mood for one of her 'girl talks'. She stood up and walked across the room to sit down next to her friend on the couch. "Is that supposed to be an innuendo?"

Angela raised a hand which Brennan awkwardly slapped with her own. "I'm so proud! I'll have you talking like a human in no time."

"I am a very intelligent person, Angela. The way I talk reflects that."

"We talked about this, remember? When you mention your intelligence every five seconds, it can make people believe that you're…stuck up."

Brennan's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I don't know what that means."

"Of course not. Hmm…how do I put this? Maybe you can just try to remember that other people aren't as smart as you."

"I know that already."

"Right. And it's easy to make them feel…incompetent when you talk about how smart you are. Does that make sense?"

"Not at all."

Angela sighed. "Let's talk about something different, then."

Brennan saw an opportunity to escape. "I have some paperwork I should probably finish…."

"What? No, no, no, no." Angela shook her head, "I'm not even half way done! We're behind on girl talks. You owe me like…a million of them."

"I doubt that Dr. Goodman will consider that an acceptable excuse for not finishing my work." Brennan replied seriously.

"You can multitask, right?"

"Yes." Brennan had learned to be careful of what she said when Angela wore the smile currently on her face.

"Great!" The smile widened. "You can work and I'll talk."

Brennan winced. "Don't you have any work to do?"

"Nope. I'm free….like a bird!"

"We could go get drinks after I'm finished. Would that be okay?"

Angela frowned. "You can't fool me with that one again. You'll just keep rescheduling until you think I've forgotten, when really, I haven't and I'm just sitting there thinking 'Wow, my best friend totally hates me and would rather look at skeletons then get a drink and talk to me.'"

"That's not true." Guilt prevented Brennan from returning to her desk. "What did you, um, want to talk about?"

"Really?" Angela's excitement eased Brennan's feeling of guilt. "I'm curious about Studly. Are you honestly going to try to tell me that you haven't even _considered_ tapping that?

Brennan realized too late that she had just fallen into one of Angela's traps.

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**(infomerical voice) Have you heard about the new "HaveSexWithBoothinator"? When you purchase this stunning new product, you will have the ability to take Brennan's place in the first scene of the Bones episode The End in the Beginning. That's right, you can have sex with Booth too! The retail price for this incredible product is three million dollars. But WAIT! If you review this chapter, the HaveSexWithBoothinator can be yours today! You can have sex with Booth for free! All you need to do is click that green button and type out a review. **


	2. Man in the SUV

**A/N: (gasp) What? It's been like a year and a half? Well, I'm...here again. Be warned.**

**Disclaimer: In the past year, I have not won the lottery and bought the rights to Bones. Maybe next year. (shrugs)  
**

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**The Man in the SUV (1x02)

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Angela tapped her foot impatiently as she watched her best friend working. As usual, Brennan, though obviously aware of Angela's presence, had not looked up from the skull in her hands even once in the five minutes Angela had been standing beside her. Angela prided herself on the patience she somehow found within herself to deal with people she loved, something she had become increasingly better at over the time that she had been friends with Brennan. But enough was enough.

"Hey, sweetie?" Angela asked as sweetly as she could.

Brennan mumbled something, but Angela was almost positive that whatever the anthropologist had said about the mastoid process was not at all related to her greeting.

"Brennan?" Angela tried again, no longer bothering to make her voice sound as sweet as the double chocolate chip muffin in her hand, "Can you, um, just put the bones down for a sec?"

Brennan finally made eye contact with Angela, in order to give her a confused look. "No, I cannot. I would like to have this identification done by the end of the day, but that will not happen unless I can finish this and give you the skull for your-"

Angela cut her off. "Did the dude die in this century? 'Cause if the answer is no, this conversation comes first."

"Weren't you listening to me?" Brennan asked, sounding genuinely surprised, "I just said that the mastoid process indicates a female."

"Brennan, honey, I have no idea what the hell that means."

Brennan's face grew more surprised. "It's really quite simple, Angela. I'm sure you could understand if I explained it to you."

Angela chuckled. "I can't decide whether the proper response to that is 'Ow' or 'Awww', so I'm going with the happier one."

"This," Brennan said, pointing to the posterior of the temporal bone, "is the mastoid process. It's an area where muscles attach and its size and shape can indicate the sex of the victim."

"Wow. I actually completely understood that." Angela was both impressed with herself for learning something new and with Brennan for explaining it in such a simple manner. Brennan really could be a great teacher.

Brennan grinned, obviously excited over the idea of imparting her anthropological knowledge onto others. "I told you it was simple. What did you want to talk about? I can multitask." She was in a notably better mood now, and Angela made a note that teaching seemed to improve Brennan's mood. This could be useful late on.

"Oh. Right. Do you think we'll get another murder case with the FBI soon? I'm getting bored."

"I hardly think it's acceptable to wish for murders to occur simply to entertain you, Angela. Finding murder entertaining could be a sign of a psychological disorder..."

"What? No!" Angela shook her head, "It's totally normal. I mean, _everyone_ likes to watch CSI, right?"

Brennan paused her analysis of the skull. "Are you referring to crime scene investigations? People should not be permitted to watch the collection of evidence. That's extremely risky to the process." She paused and crinkled her nose "And very annoying, I imagine."

"The T.V. show," Angela explained, very amused by Brennan's confusion.

"Ohhh," Brennan smiled and nodded, "You mean the documentaries on the Investigation Discovery channel. I find those very interesting and educational most of the time. Though they do have an alarming amount of cases in which a pathologist is assigned to skeletal remains, even though he lacks the proper training."

Angela did not bother correcting Brennan. "Yeah, exactly. That's all I'm saying."

"Hmm," Brennan seemed to consider whether or not she was still concerned for Angela's mental health. "I see."

Luckily, Booth knocked on Brennan's office door at that moment, saving Angela from having to defend her psychological well-being. He walked in after two knocks without waiting for an invitation.

"Bones, we need to go." Angela noted that Agent F.B. Eye Candy looked pretty upset. She always loved men who displayed emotions. It was sexy to care.

Brennan apparently did not share those feelings. She looked at Booth as if he had two heads. "Excuse me?"

"We need to go. Now. Chop chop."

"You should have called and given me time to pre-" Brennan stopped talking when Booth took the skull out of her hands and set it down in the box on her desk. To his credit, he did so rather carefully, but this did not matter to Brennan.

"BOOTH! DO _NOT_ TOUCH THE REMAINS!" She yelled, swatting at his hands. By this time, however, Booth had moved on to shoving Brennan's purse into her hands.

"I told you we needed to go, you didn't listen. C'mon. This one's important."

"I believe that all cases are important, Booth. I'd think that you would agree..."

Angela shook her head and walked out of the office. "Wait for me, guys!" she called over her shoulder, "I'm just grabbing my stuff."

Booth and Brennan were still bickering when she returned to Brennan's office five minutes later.

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**Reviews to assure me that it wasn't the WORST thing you've read in your life would be nice. Just...putting that thought out there...**


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